17 August 2010

T-Minus 19 Days

Today I reorganized and sorted through my clothes, including all jewelry, and cleaned out Drawer 1 of 5. (20% of quest completed.) Also awaiting purging are The Cupboards and the dreaded Back of Closet. (No, that wasn't what I did today. The clothes are in the other side of the closet.) A cursory count of all the books in my room comes out at roughly 100; I suspect this will need to be whittled down to a select few that I will use while at university. I don't anticipate having much space to store them.

I've seen a few checklists for university dorm rooms, and been skeptical of all of them. I need a handheld vacuum cleaner? Really? I'm not going to try and anticipate too much. Calgary has stores too; I'll buy whatever I need that I don't already have once I've actually seen my living space.

Other accomplishments in the university-prep vein: Bedding!


The duvet cover and one pillowcase (left) are dark, almost charcoal grey, from IKEA. My mom and I were browsing the bedding department and I kept saying, "This one feels really nice," and she kept saying, "Well, I think they're all the same material," and then we discovered that some had higher thread counts. So I got one of those. In contrast, my sheet set from HomeSense (right), containing one flat sheet, one fitted sheet, and a pillowcase, is patterned in black and white and pink and orange. We plan to find a throw blanket and throw pillows in bright pink and orange.

Also from Homesense:
Left, a bedside caddy, pictured here in use on my bed. It has Useful Pockets, many, and in addition, cost $2. (Though mommy bought it for me so I didn't even pay that.) Right, a laptop sleeve that made it through an eternity of humming and hawing by me, but ended up coming home. It is a tiny bit big, but I decided $20 for a slightly-too-large one was better than $45 or $50 for a precisely fitted Apple one. (I got so absorbed in the process of choosing one that I put down the IKEA duvet cover we'd brought for color matching and forgot it. Mom had to go back and retrieve it from HomeSense this morning.)

Stay tuned for tales of my university-prep purchases and navigations between Stuff I Need and Stuff I Don't.

[EDIT: ...Blogger's Preview page lied to me and the picture placement is a little messed up. Now I know how Robin McKinley frequently feels.]

16 August 2010

potr, bday, TOMS, and other abbreviations

This morning I told Jamie (aka potr) goodbye in the Edmonton airport. Her visit had been one of the events I counted down to this year, and even though it was a week long--the longest we've ever spent together--it went by with the deceptive speed that disguises itself as time passing normally but isn't. Our mothers think we need to relocate closer to each other; we haven't yet managed to say goodbye without tears, but the distance isn't as bad as it could be. Webcam and Skype and MSN manage to tide us over, despite our favorite comparison that going back to instant messaging after being together is like returning to instant coffee after getting a taste of espresso. We hope to be together again in the first week of January 2011.

And thus on August 13 I passed my first adult year. Bye, 18. You saw me meet an online friend for the first time, be legally allowed to drink alcohol but never try it, get a job, quit a job, and be accepted into university. You weren't very good at making me feel like an adult, but it's okay, 19 isn't much use for that either. I think I need a dragon before I'll feel REALLY grown up. And perhaps I could save the world.

TOMS Shoes, short for Shoes for Tomorrow, is a company founded by Blake Mycoskie that gives a pair of shoes to a child in need for every pair of shoes bought from them. Blake spoke at a leadership conference I attended in the first week of August, and I admired that he runs an organization that is both charitable and self-sustaining. Also they make cute shoes. So I bought a pair from the website, and they arrived today (just as potr was leaving. It lifted my mood a little) in the mail. They look like standard canvas shoes, but there is a little more arch support than I've found in Vans or Keds and they are quite comfortable (barring that they pinch my heels, but I suspect that will cease once they're broken in). Everyone go buy a pair!

In three weeks less a day I move into residence at Ambrose University College. Happily, until then, I have three weeks less a day to kill by finally having the summer holiday I envied of everyone else. I have no plans. That's the idea.

Coming soon: Mexico Day 7. I WILL have these all posted by the end of the summer.

07 August 2010

Interlude: All done at MLW

I've never left a job before; when I moved from Student Page to Adult Page I stayed at the same place with the same people, only my duties changed. My last day had an air of what-are-they-going-to-do-fire-me? to it, which meant that I totally skipped out of work to eat cake in the middle of my shift and hung around talking to people and had a way better time at work than I was used to having. I was even a little bit emotional when I made the rounds for hugs.

I vividly remember the mid-July (2009) morning I showed up for work and my assistant manager said, "Good morning, Amy! Are you ready for your interview?" and I blinked like I was shell-shocked and tried to find something intelligent to say and came out with, "...what interview?"

Turned out she'd forgotten to tell me I was being interviewed for a Circulation Assistant position I'd applied for, since my tenure as a Student Page was ending. I still think this is the optimal way to do job interviews. No stress, just a moment of slight panic. Far preferable.

Speaking of slight panic, just a month or so after I started as a Student, I was shelving graphic novels and heard behind me, a little ways away at the computers, "You're under arrest for trespassing."

And there was a cop standing there with about four teenage guys, and one of them said, "What happens if we run?"

At that point I turned around and kept shelving and was really glad when I looked again and they weren't there any more.

Mill Woods is a very tiny, very busy branch--we serve the same number of people as the nearly-biggest branch, Whitemud Crossing. I laughed when people asked if it was nice and quiet working in the library. Are you kidding me? If the kids' section is remotely loud the ENTIRE library is loud. Once my manager said it was, "literally bursting at the seams." REALLY? LITERALLY? Can I SEE?

I was always the slightly weird kid, too. A little while after I started I squeed to a fellow Student that I was so excited to be working in the library and she was utterly bemused by this. (It did wear off. Still cool, though.) I also loved the jobs other people hated, like shelf-reading and weeding from a list and boxing books and pulling holds. And emptying the sorting machine, which was always my favorite thing to do.

I discovered things about myself, working, and one of them is that I'm highly intimidated by authority. I couldn't relax around my managers even when I was sitting in the staff room on lunch break with them, and for a long time my MO at lunch was to sit on the couch with my iPod in and be antisocial. That changed this summer, and today I went and sat on the Starbucks patio with some of my coworkers. It seems a little ironic that I'm leaving just as I had started to feel like a valuable member of my workplace.

This was always an in-between job. It's never been something I wanted to do for the long run, and it was never very intellectually stimulating or challenging, but every so often I'd be shelving books and kind of stop and realize, "Dude, I work in a library. For the rest of my life, people are going to ask what my first job is and I'm going to say, 'I worked in a library'." And it's going to be cool.

I didn't cry when I left, but I think I might miss it. A little.

27 July 2010

Mexico, Day 6

July 8, 4:35 pm
I haven't had time to even sit down with my journal today.

This morning I showered but didn't wash my hair, because dirty hair discourages lice and we have adult evangelism tonight. I am still very not-tanned.

After breakfast (French toast - Destiny was excited) Ms. Hildebrand braided my hair, so it's been in French braids all day. When I was wearing an apron and hairnet to work in the kitchen Nathan said I looked like a Hutterite. [Thanks Nathan. Same to you :D]

Yesterday morning Bob wrote down my name for working in the kitchen today, so that was where I went after Sala. (I sat with little Nancy from the nursery and she was very good and quiet, for the most part.) I was with two of the girls from Washington, Amber and Megan, and the first thing we did was wash the kitchen floor with Manuel and the four guys assigned to help him.

It was a lot of fun. We moved everything that was moveable and sloshed buckets of soapy water all over the floor. I'd changed into my runners and left my sandals, which was a good plan. It was wet. We swept all the water all over with brooms and then squeegeed it toward the drains. I have some pictures, taken by Everett, of me with a squeegee. Some people mopped and I Hung Around Awkwardly (we did a lot of that) until it was time to move stuff back.

After that the boys and Manuel left, and Amber and Megan and I made attempts at communication with the kitchen ladies (all Mexican) until they gave us hairnets, aprons and jobs.

We chopped very many juicy, huge tomatoes. My knife was mediocre and one of the ladies noticed and gave me a big white cleaver-ish one with somewhat of a knowing smile.

We chopped tomatoes and lettuce until they had enough for lunch, then washed our dishes (and some others) and wiped down some of the huge white bins where they keep ingredients in bulk. (Skim milk powder, flour, sugar, etc.) Amber and Megan washed the lids. All this washing was with bleach, which meant our hands felt icky and dry after.

On break at 11, they sold donuts and I downed two in about three minutes and made my last visit to the gift shop. Last, I promise. I have bought 5 different kinds of nuts, a ring and a bracelet. I don't really need any more necklaces or earrings, and I didn't love any of the ones they had.

Destiny, Jordan, Carissa ad I were on lunch prep and cleanup, so we took the chairs off the tables and served all the food. Once we were done there was also some fun chatting with Manuel and Uriel. Apparently Manual is now 'Mickey Mouse Manuel', according to Uriel. I missed the first part of that conversation but was still rather amused.

Lunch was salad (hence the lettuce and tomatoes), spaghetti with sauce, and garlic toast. Very North American. (Supper was a letdown. Buns with refried beans and cheese. Oh boy.) I swept and mopped the floor after and contemplated FFHM and the ministry they have here. It's such a little Mexican oasis. I think I would like to come back. Life is so SIMPLE here. So much less worrying, about anything, and when I do it turns out fine. I don't even really miss anyone that much, though I might if I stayed here longer.

After lunch I meant to journal but Nathan was walking by and asked if I wanted to visit the babies in the nursery and I experienced a split second of indecision but went with the babies, figuring journaling could wait. One of them wasn't into being piggybacked around and chased, but Carelli quite enjoyed it. That felt idyllic too.

We met at the firepit at 2:10 for child evangelism and I slathered on sunscreen (though I might have burned a bit more today anyway) and edged closer to Bryan when Uriel wanted to send one person from our group with a different one. No thanks. He sent Everett instead. So Bryan and Loree and Carissa and I left with Adrienna, who leads one of the child evangelisms. She gave Bryan some haphazard directions, and I think listened to her ipod most of the ride.

We got to the neighborhood and drove around while Adrienna announced the kids' Bible class from a loudspeaker out the window of the van. We parked eventually, and went into a little fenced yard with a locked shed and one tree. Initially only 6 or 7 kids showed up but the group kept gradually growing while we sang songs and stuff, and probably topped out at about 30.

Adrienna led the songs and we pretended to know them, and greeted arriving kids. At one point in a song, out of the blue for us since she was speaking all in Spanish, everyone pointed to each helper (us) and shouted, "Como te llamas!" in turn. ("What's your name") I was first and forgot my name for a second because I was that surprised.

After a Bible story (I poked a few boys and told them to be quiet, but Adrienna completely ignored them so I don't know if she cared) we gave out milk and peanut butter. Carissa and I had the peanut butter and Loree had the milk, and that part was fun. There was enough left over to give out seconds and thirds, and after that they all trickled out pretty fast. [One kid just kept on lining up for peanut butter despite having three or four uneaten spoonfuls already. We were amused.] Adrienna gave the remains of the peanut butter jar to an older boy.

Bryan had discovered when we stopped that milk had spilled in the back of the van, so he said he was thinking of that the whole time, worrying that we wouldn't have enough for all the kids, and that we wouldn't be able to clean it up before it started to stink up the van.

So we headed back and did that right away. We used towels from the visitors' lounge, and facecloths from the same cupboard, and soapy water. The milk had pooled in the patterned holes on the floor matting, which was tricky, but we soaked it up and Bryan took out the back bench to clean the seat where the milk had spilled. We also cleaned up all the snack wrappers, which will be nice on the way back.

I attempted to journal before dinner, but mostly chatted.

Dinner, as I mentioned, was buns with refried beans and cheese, and the general sentiment was, "...is this all?" I had 3. Some people had none. The non-fans of refried beans.

I also tried journaling after dinner, sitting on the low wall across from the visitors' centre. [Note: clearly it is not 4:35 pm any more. I think I switched at some point and just didn't note it.] Bryan walked past and offered in jest the 'nice, damp' seat from the back of the van. Ha ha. Then he sat on it to read his book :P

Anyway, Ms. Hildebrand walked past and mentioned we were meeting in 10 minutes and to get ready, so that was that.

We discussed low points and high points, I received advice on fixing the bandana I borrowed from Loree (yay more Hutterite. I wanted my hair to be mostly covered), and we discussed who's speaking in Sala tomorrow, when the visitors have a chance to share. Loree and Everett. I am not - I don't feel that I can adequately express my thoughts yet.

We prayed and talked some with the larger group before leaving for Adult Evangelism, and Bob warned us about things like the kids being 'wild' and that this particular camp was 'under disciplinary measures' and spooked us a little. Me, anyway.

I must record the outfit I wore. Running shoes, ankle socks, jeans, black skirt over jeans, t-shirt, other t-shirt over the first one, Canada hoody, bandana (with french braids pinned up and hairsprayed to death). It was not attractive. But, as Debra says, "We know who's NOT getting raped tonight."

On the drive I journaled and nearly caught up. Nathan talked some about going to these places, these migrant camps, until the protection of the Spirit, and being unafraid. I appreciated it after Bob's talk. I prayed when we got closer. (Nathan also shared more university dorm pranks.)

We pulled into a flat dirt field with a bunch of guys playing soccer. There were no girls in sight. We backed into a parking spot and got out, and kinda huddled in a group until the kids began to appear.

Loree wanted to play soccer, but according to Bob, Mexican guys don't appreciate girls playing with them. Bryan stood guard over our vans for the entire time, to prevent anyone letting the air out of our tires (an actual previous occurrence, according to Bob) or breaking the windows or something. Laurent and Nathan and Joel (who attracts little boys magnetically) rolled around with the kids. I gave a lot of piggybacks and spun around a lot of kids. More older kids this time.

One girl, 8, in a grey Adidas hoody (Nati, I think she said her name was) seemed to just want to hang around me. I'm unsure why. I'm not sure it was because she liked me more than anyone else, but I piggybacked her around for a decent stretch of time. She was a gorgeous little girl. I was reminded of Selena Gomez, actually. Only a lot younger :P

Another pair of them wandered around with me for a while while I pointed out things - the sky, the ground, a shoe - and said, "English, sky. Espanol - ?" and they told me the words. They seemed to think that was fun. There were more kids this time that tittered at my "No entiendo" and "No hablo espanol."

The picture-taking team (whom most of our group consider not especially useful) were there, but they didn't attempt to herd all the kids into lines this time.

When the movie started I stood back with Carissa and prayed for some of the people, but it kind of turned into a prayer for me. I just want to hear God. I'll go, anywhere he says, but I want to KNOW. I want him to TELL me.

18 July 2010

Mexico, Day 5

July 7, 7:35 am
Sitting in the courtyard with Carissa and Michelle.

Lots of the girls were sore this morning after all the carrying and piggybacking we did last night, but I'm not. I tried to wash my blue hoody in the sink but it's still wet and sodden so I don't know if it's going to be dry even by Friday. I'm planning on buying one today when the gift shop is open. [I didn't.]

Anyway. Adult Evangelism was shockingly eye-opening. I sort of wonder if the reason they take us out there is so we can actually see the poverty for ourselves. They have little houses, and playgrounds and a basketball court, but they LOOK poor, and the kids are all tiny and wild. [This, we learned later, was a fairly high-end work camp, as work camps go.] One girl, as tall as me but younger, was only wearing a tank-top-like shirt and asked for my hoody by tugging at it. I said no but I wished I could, that I didn't need it, and that it wasn't unfair to give it to just one when we didn't have hoodies for all of them. I also had a granola bar in the pouch of my hoody, which a couple kids noticed, and then when we got in the van I realized it was gone.

I forgot about praying for the kids for the most part, they were in and out so fast, but I did for a few right at the end.

In the van on the way back I asked Nathan about Ambrose meal plans and he proved quite helpful. He said most girls don't actually use up all of their meal plan. He also told funny stories of dorm pranks. :P

We laughed a lot about random things, most of which I barely remember, and my caesar salad from Sunday, which I forgot in the van, got spilled on the floor. Eww. I may go back to make sure I got all the bits that spilled when I cleaned it up, cause it was dark.

It was weird, I wasn't happy with the ridiculous skirt getup, but once we got there it stopped mattering. The kids don't care. It was nice to change out of it, though. All our hair looked hilarious after we pulled it out of ponytails and whatnot, because of the hairspray we put in to discourage lice.

I journaled as far as I could last night and fell asleep probably seconds after the light went out.

This morning I woke up and dozed off again until 6:30, when I stumbled over to the bathroom for a cold, wimpy-water-pressured shower. My hair is still damp and I need to hunt up some bobby pins before we go out to work assignments.

We got toast and peanut butter and oatmeal for breakfast, and I tried the milk, which Carissa says tastes like melted ice cream. It doesn't, quite, but almost. Also had more awesome coffee, though 15 minutes is not long enough to properly enjoy a cup of coffee.

Destiny just about started breaking in through the wrong window, when we went back to our room and no one had a key. I believe she wanted a calling card to call her mom. She was really homesick initially, but I think she's feeling better. [Yay for Destiny! I hope you were feeling better.]

[A bit later]
Carissa and I sat in the courtyard for a while with our journals, before the nursery was open for us to take babies.

At breakfast Bob came up and picked Loree and Dionne to watch the kids in the nursery during Sala. I wanted to be picked to go in the nursery, no fair :P He didn't even ask for volunteers. Whatever. I'll get over it. Maybe he just noticed they've been playing with the kids a lot. I TRY, but I just feel...awkward. Shy? I feel like I don't know how to be a fun person with kids, or something. Which is stupid, of course I do. I dunno.

I got a little girl out of the nursery, Leah, for Sala, but she started squirming as soon as I sat down and I took her back (thankfully today I sat close to the door). I wish she'd gone to sleep on my shoulder, she looked like she might for a bit and it's so sweet when kids do that.

We're sitting in Sala now and one of the house parents is sharing about the medical problems his 'son' (one of the orphans) Oscar is having, and how Oscar has to leave and live in Tijuana. [Poor Oscar. He has AIDS and they live too far away from Tijuana for him to get blood tests and stuff as often as he needs. He shared, too, and just about started to cry before he even started talking.]

1:35 pm
We're sitting in the sun outside the visitors' centre, enjoying it. Destiny showed us she can fake being pregnant. Now she's lying in the sun. Laurent and Loree are over playing with some of the disabled kids from the day home.

According to Ms. Hildebrand, there's a little autistic girl who lives here with two caretakers. She came right to me to tell me. I'd like to meet her, I think - I feel a little apprehensive at the idea. It's not like I really know much about autism. I do work with Jaden, but autism is so DIFFERENT with every individual. [I never did get to meet her. I kind of wish I had.]

4:15 pm
To carry on from where I stopped just then, I ran over to take pictures of Laurent and Loree and Nathan with the disabled kids and ended up semi-playing with them until 2 when we received afternoon work assignments. Incidentally, the grassy sward where we played is SO lovely and soft and green in the sun. [I like the phrase 'grassy sward' and since it sounded about right for this particular area I just kept on using it. It makes me feel wordy. It means 'an expanse of short grass'. From Old English.]

Anyway, we congregated right outside the visitors' centre and Bob started out by listing the places that needed help in the afternoon - weeding, raking, lawnmowing, help in the day home. I expected the day home to get snatched up right away because it involves playing with kids, which everyone loves, but it didn't. Two people volunteered for sweeping first.

So I put up my hand and said I'd do the day home, and then sort of discovered/remembered that that means the disabled kids, not the daycare kids. The mission takes on the disabled kids during the day. Also, they only needed ONE helper.

I was okay with being with the disabled kids. Not AS okay as with the daycare kids, but whatever. Even though I work with Jaden, that still intimidates me, and I'm guessing that's why other people didn't volunteer right off the bat. ALONE, though?

Anyway, couldn't back down, so I headed over. (Also, Bob gave vague directions, and though I did actually find the right door, they weren't inside.) Anyway, I found them eventually, having a birthday party picnic. By the grassy sward, incidentally.

The really pretty British girl, Katie, was there briefly. I felt out of place initially, but the kids were really friendly. One of the boys with Down Syndrome wanted a picture with me. We played a game with a parachute and I helped a boy with either spina bifida or muscular dystrophy (don't remember) sit up so he could play.

I couldn't understand them at all, of course, except one girl (12 or 13) who spoke English. It didn't really matter, though.

After the birthday party and the game we went back to their room behind the clinic. I pushed a boy in a wheelchair to get there.

Inside, two of the boys were playing with toy cars, so I sat down at the same table. One of the ladies commented that it would be great if I would play with them, which gave me a bit more confidence.

I pulled out my camera at that point (always a crowd-pleaser) and one of the boys, Martin, wanted to play with it, which consisted of him pointing it nowhere and pressing the button. That was fairly entertaining for a bit, until the boy across the table wanted to use it. And he did, for a long time, taking pictures almost exclusively of the bottoms of his toy cars. Later on he took some dubious shots of kids playing in the toy kitchen. I have ten million pictures of the bottoms of toy cars. I was iffy on entrusting my camera to a motor-skills-challenged kid, but he did really well. Another boy in a wheelchair, who spoke English, used it briefly as well, and very politely gave it back when my two were being restless.

Right at the end I played with two of the last kids to leave, trying to take pictures of them while they hid. They thought this was hilarious.

The lady in charge thanked me at the end and offered that if I wanted to go on the bus that took them all home, I could, but I would have missed dinner, so I said no. It might have been fun, though.

About 3:30, they were all gone. So I was going to head over to where some others were working and see if they needed help, but Bob accosted me on the way with a trolley full of shoeboxes.

Perhaps Bob is a bit dyslexic? Anyway, he doesn't come across real clearly, so initially I thought he wanted me to visit all the Casas (houses) with this trolley of shoeboxes, to see if any of the orphans wanted one for their personal belongings. I was a bit intimidated by this. (See: Not speaking a word of Spanish.) But then he just started following along in his bike. He told me 'free boxes' was 'cahas gratis', so I said that a few times to various kids. We got rid of all the boxes, though mostly to one of the ladies who organizes clothes. Then he told me I could stop for the afternoon!

So I did.

9:55 pm
After I stopped journaling I was feeling wonderful because it was sunny and warm and I was off work early and I was in MEXICO. So I grabbed my journal and was sitting outside and writing , on the low walltop by the road. It felt pretty cool. There was a time when I would have felt self-conscious, sitting on a random wall journaling while people walked by, but not now.

Nathan and Loree and Everett dropped by after a bit. I commented that I might actually be getting a tan. Nathan put on his sunglasses because it was 'a bit bright over there'. Ha ha. Loree told us the woes of the tiny lawnmower. Everett gave me a tiny orange that ended up being super sour, and a practical joke that they were handing out to the girls in general. [I did not eat it after the first taste, despite their earnest assertions that "you're supposed to eat it whole".] I believe the boys went to the orchard in the afternoon.

Then I sat and half-journaled and half-chatted until dinner. I don't remember what we ate for dinner (oh yeah, it was rice and beans) but someone commented that a lot of the food LOOKS disgusting but after you've been working you really don't care.

Wednesday nights are church at the mission, so we walked there, and Loree and I read the copper plates in the sidewalk. They're names of events in the Bible, chronologically as you get closer to the church, in Spanish. Pretty cool.

I wasn't expecting such a big church or such a wealthy one. They gave us headsets, for English speakers, for translation. We ended up not using them.

There were also a lot of white people. Near the end numbers from the nursery flashed on the screen a few times. Kids getting fussy and their parents being paged.

The worship team was GREAT. They had a really energetic sound and sang a few songs in Spanish that I know in English, so I sang the English. That felt cool.

Dionne sang and Joel drummed in a really neat song that they put together with some people from the other groups. Awesome harmony, and they built to a great crescendo. Impressive, for the very little practice they seemed to do.

At one point I looked up at the one uncovered window on the west side of the church and there was BLINDING sunlight streaming through. How's THAT for an image of God? Sunlight in a huge white airy church. THAT was cool.

The service, despite being long and ponderous due to translation, was strangely refreshing. I just enjoyed the feeling of being in CHURCH, and the peaceful walk back. I chatted with Bryan and Loree.

I did a quick sweep of the van to make sure the lettuce spilled from the unfortunate caesar salad was all cleaned up and not bug-infested, and pilfered a granola bar, and went up to the visitors' lounge for a team meeting.

We got really off-track, but it was a good off-track, funny stories and commiseration about shared issues. A lot of people don't like Bob :P

What touched me the most was when Bryan shared his high point of the day. He said that someone at church asked who was the Southgate leader, anyway, and it made him think of what a good team we all are and how proud he is of us. Bryan very seldom says stuff like that so it means a lot when he does.

After a bit more sharing, some from the Washington group came in for a 'peanut butter run', we prayed to end the meeting, and then things got a little crazy, fun at first. We ate peanut butter toast and straight peanut butter off spoons and Michelle and I made tea (Earl Grey!).

Then the Americans introduced us to a slightly violent game [I hadn't heard of it. "I sit. In the grass. With my friend..." and it's somewhat full-contact. Maybe you have], so Bryan and the adults on our team decided that wasn't really their thing (I think) and went off to bed. I didn't really feel inclined to hang around except that someone still needed to clean up, and Joel was kind enough to help me. He's been great on this trip. Mature, great with kids, GREAT attitude about everything.

I grabbed my hoody, which is just about dry (W00T!) off the clothesline, where I hung it this morning. Carissa borrowed my new bracelet from San Diego, so I put that and my new ring from the gift shop in the jewelry bag I brought. It's getting full. [This is a cool little leather bag that they shipped my sterling silver replica of the One Ring in.]

I also bought nuts today. Mac Roca and Vanilla Brittle and some normal roasted. I may go back for more.

I don't think I wrote about orchard-weeding this morning. Carissa and Debra played Guess the Movie Line, and we got a lot done. The guy in charge spoke no English, but we actually communicated really well through gestures and Debra's 'un poquito' Spanish.

It was a better experience weeding in the morning. Cooler.

Also, I am sunburnt. And not happy. I thought I might tan while sitting outside journaling, but not BURN. My face and neck and arms. It is not terribly attractive. Loree did give me some face cream, which I think helped. Meh.

The girls want to turn off the lights, so really fast, I went out to see the stars with Carissa and they weren't as impressive as I thought they might be. We came back in and discussed middle names and I got some echinacea from Debra because...echinacea is always good.

Tomorrow, I think I will buy more nuts, perhaps a pair of earrings, and whatever snack is at break. Was burritos again today!

Okay really now. Good night.


[Okay, I know, a bit PG-13. In reference to Destiny's skirt getup.]
"Well, we know who's NOT getting raped tonight." - Debra

14 July 2010

Mexico, Day 4

July 6, 12:45 pm
I'm alone in our room and it's just about lunchtime.

I don't remember falling asleep last night. I woke up and it was dark and I was disoriented, so I think the light must still have been on when I fell asleep.

Before breakfast I ran and had a very quick shivery shower. The bobby pins have been trying to escape from my braid all morning.

Breakfast was scrambled eggs with something red in them, refried beans, and flour tortillas that some of the girls sold us. $8 for 4 dozen. And I found where the coffee is! I like it. It tastes like a cinnamon dolce latte, Destiny says.

Before Sala and after breakfast I went with Destiny and Michelle and Carissa to get babies from the nursery. The others got little girls, but mine was a little boy and he was SUPER cute. [This was Elias, Nancy's brother.] He was playing with may camera and figured out how to turn it on, set it to camera, and take about 10 pictures.

Brb lunch.

Back (1:20 now). Anyway, I managed to turn off the flash so it wasn't disruptive , though he did get squirmy so I had to take him back to the nursery. The guy in charge of work assignments [Uriel] advised us to sit near the door when we have babies so that it's not so disruptive when we leave with them, which made me feel kinda...eheh oops. I have pretty cute pictures with the little boy, though.

Then they gave out work assignments. Bob talked some about how it's important to be willing to dp anything, which made me feel guilty for not volunteering to clean toilets. I did go to the kitchen with Bryan and Joel and Zack, and a short Hispanic man named Manuel gave us stuff to do. We figured he must understand English pretty well, just not speak it, because we managed to communicate decently (right at the end he told us to go wash the car in the kitchen, which was perplexing, but he thought it was hilarious and showed us where the car actually was. BEHIND the kitchen). We washed a bunch of dishes, big ones, and put dishes away, and cleaned tile and wiped down all the tables and chairs with water and bleach.

At break the gift shop was open and I gave in and bought a bracelet. I'll be back there later, to buy tons of macadamia nuts, because they are SO good.

Also, they were selling sticky buns, with nuts, which were AWESOME. [On the trip back through Ensenada and Tijuana, July 10, we had more sticky buns. They were not as epic cold as they were hot, but Laurent still ate, like, four or something.] I bought M&Ms, two granola bars, two bottles of lemonade, and gum for $2.85. It was a happy thing.

After break we washed the van behind (not in) the kitchen, which Manuel thanked us for profusely. He kept saying, "New car!"

Joel and I headed back for the Connect 4 tournament, but no kids were signed up, so instead we swept a bunch of the paths until lunch, and I discussed Mayans and Aztecs with Joel and Zack.

I'm annoyed that I didn't bring more hoodies. I have my blue American Eagle one and my Canada one, but the Canada one isn't as warm and the sleeves aren't long enough. What annoys me more is that I was warned to bring more and ignored it. I wonder if it's stupid to pay $30 for one from the gift shop.

Oh, Debra enlightened me on last night. Apparently I was out like a light. I'm amused.

Going to the Sala for more work assignment now.

10:40 pm
I got to go to the Nuthouse kitchen! It was fun - I made Lemon Loaf mix, and doubled an already huge recipe, which was nerve-wracking since I kept losing count of things. [24 eggs in that thing! And 18 cups of flour!] Also, I attempted to make roses with icing. They turned out semi-okay, though Dorothy (the cook) made way better ones. I wish I'd gotten a picture of me making them, for Mom.

Dorothy intrigued me. She came here as a non-Christian, after her husband died, and was told she could stay if she came to Sala every morning. She eventually converted. She runs the kitchen almost like a drill seargent but at moments she's almost startlingly kind. I think I like her. There was a girl helping her, a guest who's here for the wedding this weekend, who's from England and had an AWESOME accent. She kept to herself, mostly. [This was Katie.] She's REALLY pretty.

When they were giving out assignments Dionne mentioned how much she enjoyed working at the Nuthouse in the morning and Bob told her she could go back with two others, so I jumped in the air waving my hand :P. But it worked! I was thrilled.

I was fairly intimidated about Adult Evangelism this evening. Supper was idyllic, sunny and happy, but I kind of felt the evening looming. (Re the sun: Chelsea, in the gift shop this afternoon, said it's freakishly cold in the Baja right now. Should be 30C.)

The drive there was a good 50 minutes. First we changed into (hysterical) skirt-pant-runner-hat get-ups, and there was a lot of giggling, and boys commented that they felt lucky. Ha ha. [We were supposed to wear skirts below the knee, have our hair covered as much as possible in case of lice, and wear long pants under the skirts and hoodies because it got cold. Is not an attractive combo.] Then we stood in a circle and prayed.

Anyway, the drive was fun. At once point I told Debra that I didn't feel like I wanted to go home, and she said she had moments like that too, but also GET ME OUT OF HERE moments. I concur.

When we drove into the work camp, kids swarmed the vans. SWARMED. They climbed onto the back and the sides and held on to the bumper while it was still moving, and at one point a boy opened the side door from outside and climbed in going, "Hola!"

That was intimidating, but it was okay once we got out. Little kids don't much care about language - I used "Hola", "Como te llamas", "Dios te bendiga", and they grinned and some gave me high-fives [some of them I had to teach how a high-five worked] and a lot demanded piggybacks right off the bat.

Being there with this swarm of kids was overwhelming. I want to remember this while it's still fresh in my mind, before I move too far away from the emotional impact of it.

These kids had clothes, but lots had very dirty shoes, or bare feet, or dirty clothes. There were also runny noses and a few kids I saw crying. They were also TINY. Near the end I held a little girl, 3 or 4 years old, for a long time, and she hardly weighed anything. It might not all be malnutrition, it might be that these kids are just smaller, but it still shocked me.

I walked around visiting briefly with kids for a while. Some were very shy, but one (Rosa) would NOT leave me alone and was constantly wanting a piggyback. They got a little crazy when they lined up for the picture-taking team and one girl got pushed around a lot. I gave her a hug.

When it got dark they turned on a movie (The Prodigal Son, in a weird animation-style interpretation) and the one little girl sat on my lap/got a piggyback ride for a long time until a boy I think was her brother came to get her. [Her name was something that sounded like Amalinda. A lot of the time I gave up trying to understand them when they said their names.]

I felt really sad. Have to go to bed - will finish about this evening tomorrow. The girls want to turn the lights off.


[On the topic of the mission, and how when their cup overflows they give out to the community]
"When my cup overflows, I buy a bigger cup, and put the old one in my garage, and then three years later I sell it for 25 cents at a garage sale, and someone gives me 10 cents for it." - Nathan

13 July 2010

Mexico, Day 3

July 5, 7:50 am
I think I may be under spiritual attack.

It feels like everyone knows more than me, has better judgment, is more worth listening to, is more spiritual. My reaction to any kind of advice or admonition seems to be annoyance.

8:15 am
We're sitting in Sala now. Just sang 3 songs, about half English and Spanish each. Now there's a man talking, via a girl translating into English. He's sharing about the teenage boys he lives with [he's a house parent].

From Deuteronomy 11:13 and 18-24. He says, "Teach your children these things again and again and again. Love the Lord your God. If you obey, you won't lack anything."

1:35 pm
Back in our room after lunch.

The morning was actually great. One of the staff here, Chelsea, showed us the entire missions. They do a TON here. Special needs kids, elementary school, special needs babies, nursery, daycare, printing shop, clinic, and orchard. We sampled the macadamia nuts, which was YUM. The tiny babies are super cute. There's a six-month-old in the nursery named Lucy and she has HUGE eyes.

I asked what kind of special needs kids they have, but it sounds like no autistic kids. Down Syndrome, spina bifida, muscular dystrophy, and then a few generally mentally disabled.

I'm a bit excited for this afternoon. There's tons of jobs, like clothes and the newsletter mailing and the nut processing and I'm sure tons of other stuff. Right now I'm on a bottom bunk with Carissa after lunch, having changed into capris and runners. My feet got VERY dirty, along with my work sandals, but I'm okay with it. I'm only working 4 more weeks.

Between 11 and 11:20 there was break, and the fire department was selling burritos for a fundraiser. I had 3 - nice and filling after the single pancake I had for breakfast. It was a fun little interlude. Joel taught us a key trick in which you snap your fingers on your lanyard and the key springs up [theoretically. I did not succeed at this much] into your hand.

Chelsea is really pretty. [I really wondered if she had a hard time of it in Mexico, being pretty and blonde, with getting rude comments from men.] I don't like having to have my hair up and back all the time, but I'll get over it.

I loved sampling the flavors of nuts. I really want to buy a whole bunch, for gifts and for myself. The gift shop is apparently only open Tuesday-Friday 11-11:20. [It was also open 1:30-2.]

My mood is a bit more upbeat now. I just about fell asleep in Sala this morning but the tour woke me up. I think I'll leave some of the clothes I brought here, since they are clearly able to put them to good use. They were saying earlier that if anyone wanted to donate their grad dress, that would be great.

(Random: I got salad dressing on my striped capris yesterday at lunch. Go me. Hope it washes out.)

4:40 pm
Just back from shoveling out weeds at the orchard. My feet and legs are super dirty and my shoes are all full of sandy dirt. [Baja California is SO SANDY. Dirt got in EVERYTHING.] It was hot, but it surprised me that we only worked for a little under 2 hours. 2:30-almost 4:30.

I'm still struggling a little with resentment when given unasked-for advice.

Dinner in 10 min. I'm already tired, but I can't believe Monday is nearly over. Tonight we'll babysit some of the kids and then crash again.

It seems like we're all still a little uncertain of what to do here. I'm looking forward to when we can all relax a little and goof around a bit more.

9:35
Some goofy giggling now! We're all fairly overtired.

Tonight we babysat the kids in each 'house' of the orphanage. There are between 9 and 12 kids in each, and ours was House 5. I was with Destiny, but otherwise no one from Southgate.

When we walked in they were all sitting there, shy, and then one lady pulled out two recorders and they thought that was pretty cool. There was also a couple with a printer for taking pictures of the kids and printing them right there, which the kids also liked.

And then - high point! - I sat down on the floor and patted it and the three older girls - 12, 12 and 13 - sat down and I taught them Stella Ella Ola [clapping game], just by gesturing. It was FUN. The girl were named Rosa, Yiria, Ana Maria. [Every time I said her name I thought of Anamaria from PotC.] One of the other ladies called me 'wonderful' for getting them out of their shells.

Then...they all escaped.

Originally they were on the playground (and I was playing with little boys and one of them accidentally conked me in the nose with his head. I got a brief nosebleed) but then...they scattered. I had no idea which kids were ours and of course we can't communicate with them. We got it figured out eventually, but it felt like a gong show. The boys, teens, from house 7, were playing soccer with other people, and the kids were baiting a random tied-up dog. I just watched them for a while to make sure they didn't go anywhere else, and SOMEHOW we rounded them all up and ended with the right number of the right kids.

After that we watched a movie with them (Mary-Kate and Ashley. In English. I don't think they understood a word) and the little kids climbed all over Destiny. I sat by Yiria, who was very quiet and clearly wanted to watch. I let her scroll through the pictures on my camera until it died. The other kids took TONS of pictures on Destiny's and another girl's [Alyssa's] camera.

We sent them to bed around 8:30, and the house parents got home at 9. Yiria gave me a hug before we left. I got Destiny to take a picture of us. All the kids thought she was hilarious. [She is :D]

Now we're back and all giddy and tired. Apparently I look 'doe-eyed' with no glasses on. We have also eaten the last of the pretzels from the car ride, and we didn't meet as a team because it was too late. Michelle and Destiny are doing the splits again. I believe we are about to turn off the lights.

Today felt like a big success. I chatted some with the Americans and managed to be a little outgoing and not quite so don't-talk-to-me introverted. It felt good.


Quote: "I know why they don't use vacuum cleaners around here. Some day someone's going to start vacuuming the dust and just never stop and the entirety of Baja California will disappear." - Liz, from Michigan

12 July 2010

Mexico, Day 2

July 4, 8:40 am
Slept pretty much the whole night through. Destiny said she kicked and stuff but I never felt it. So that was a good 10 hours of sleep, much needed after the nothing I got the night before.

Loree woke me up at 7:30 and I showered, groggily, and went down for the hotel continental breakfast. (Why is it called 'continental'?)

The hotel. There's a permit in the elevator, which SQUEALED when we tried it, that expired a year ago. There were beetles in the bathroom last night. Breakfast was meager and suspicious, and according to some our room smells like weed. Not to mention that according to Nathan and Bryan, we got a lot of grief trying to check in.

I don't know how they do any business on Hotel Circle. All the other hotels, I'm sure, are better.

Now I'm packed up. Nearly forgot Sir Marshmallow (would NOT have been good) but I think I have everything now. My hair doesn't look awesome but I'll deal. With bobby pins and a hairband.

We're sitting and talking now. Carissa is telling us about her job-hunting experiences.

12:20 pm
Bryan configured a meetup with a group from Washington who are going to the same place, thinking it would be easier because they've been down here before and know where they're going.

Now that we've spent two hours looking for somewhere to buy our FMT tourist cards because Harv (the youth pastor of the other group) didn't remember we needed them, I'm somewhat wondering if it was not such a good plan. We crossed the border just fine, was easier than we thought, but we just could not find the place we were looking for.

Two hours of driving around Tijuana later, trying not to lose any of our four-van convoy, after Laurent, Nathan and Harv went looking for the Migracion office while we parked in what we thought was right but wasn't, we've decided to plead ignorance and just keep going. It wasn't fun, waiting for them to get back, and I actually had the thought that I want to go home.

Tijuana is not tourist Mexico. There are whole hillsides with houses made of cardboard and plywood and plastic bags. I feel a little numb to the poverty. It's unsettling to be unable to read the Spanish signs.

It also looks like it's an election day, so there are tons of police [with CRAZY BAZOOKA RIFLES] out.

Now we're back on the highway. Our van is first in the convoy. Harv took a wrong turn so he's going to meet us in Ensenada.

1:10 pm
Finally on the highway (after an erroneous trip to somewhere else) to Ensenada, right next to the ocean. There are shadowy islands out silhouetted against the sky.

6:05 pm
Still driving.

We stopped, after a long drive through Ensenada and some doubt about the location of where we were going, at Costco, and at lunch. Also, there's a HUGE Mexican flag in Ensenada.

Lunch was sold in a LOUD, crowded, semi-open-air add-on to Costco. I got a caesar salad and a churro (twisty roll with cinnamon).

Our van has been fun. The boys are entertaining, especially after our stop for gas just now. Joel and Everett had issues with coke bottle caps and Jordan got a gigantic bottle of Fanta. [2.5 liters]

We're supposedly quite close to Vicente Guerrero. I can't decide if I feel excitement of trepidation.

8:20 pm
Sitting in the Sala (chapel) at the mission, waiting for orientation to begin.

We arrived in Vicente Guerrero and found the mission without difficulty. A guy (Bob?) meet us right away and got us into rooms. For some reason he thought we were 'Steve M's group'. All the girls but Dionne (who is with Laurent) are in the same room, with black metal bunk beds. There were fitted sheets already on the mattresses (mine was yellow and flowery) so I didn't really need mine, though I put it on anyway.

We went to a little taco stand, a canopy over dirt by the side of the road, for dinner. Bryan ordered us all tacos, 2 each, that came out to $40 USD for 30 tacos. One guy wandered around talking to us a bit (he kept saying "Taco de mice!" to me) but I didn't understand anything. I think Carissa's been getting some whistles, and he called Destiny 'benita'. Nothing on me yet :P

We've seen several mangy dogs. Michelle thinks they're super cute. One was hanging around while we ate tacos.

Then we came back and settled in a little more, and I discovered I didn't actually bring a belt. [Loree lent me one. Thanks Loree :)] Now we're sitting in the chapel, which is actually fairly large, and I'm half-listening to Bob, the leader, explain a couple of things. He was discussing a Connect 4 tournament for the kids just now. He's starting to talk to all of us.

[Notes from orientation]
1 group from Washington (14)
1 group from Michigan/Florida (21)
Bob came here when he was 52, has been here for 7 years, and is married to a Mexican lady with a son. It sounds like God definitely switched up the plans he had for himself.
No toilet paper in the toilets.
Water's supposedly safe to drink.
Report any leaks in our buildings.
Dress code: No short shorts, no midriff showing, no tank tops. Guys need shirts at all times.
Babies can be signed out of the nursery at 7:50 every morning but if they get fussy/start laughing too loud, take them back. No kissing babies on the lips. [People DID that?]
No shorts in Sala, and no food in Sala.
Keep the visitors' lounge clean.
Don't move furniture without asking.
Hang towels on clothesline, not railings. Pegs are under the stairs.
Go into town in groups, with a male escort if you're female.
Wash your hands a lot.
We're responsible for clearing our table at meals. Breakfast at 7, lunch at 1, dinner 5. 15 minutes per meal.
Quiet time 10 pm.
11 pm lights out.
Optional tour of the mens' shelter Friday afternoon.
Showers no longer than 3 minutes.
There are all kinds of jobs - orchard tending, groundskeeping, kids, kitchen...
I'm on lunch prep on Thursday.

10:00 pm
After orientation we had a brief group meeting about how we're feeling about the trip and stuff. I'm not feeling super emotional about anything, though I think some others are. Spiritual inadequacy is coming back to haunt me a bit. Should I be feeling something?

I also feel a little inadequate in general. (It's after 10 and people are wanting to go to bed so I'll go fast.) I'm pretty sure my hair will look awful this week. I really enjoy when Bryan shares in our meetings because he's always so humble. I'm tempted to think I'm failing because I'm not praying or reading my Bible as much as some, or my journal entries aren't spiritual enough, or enough about God. I don't know. I WANT to be a servant, and I'm ready for God to use me, but I can pretend spirituality I don't feel. Should I feel it? Faith first, then facts, then feelings, I guess.

I'm writing in circles, a bit. I want to read my book but maybe I should read my Bible.


Quote: "It's a Mexican cricket. It might steal your wallet." - Nathan

11 July 2010

Home! and Mexico, day 1.

I got home tonight at about 8 pm after a long day of flying. I have a cold and my ears still hurt from the taking off/landing of the planes, but I'm otherwise a happy camper. Keep going if you want excerpts (lightly edited, with editorial notes in brackets] from my journal of day 1 of the Mexico Missions Trip 2010.

July 3, 2010, 5:40 am
Sitting watching the line of shadow where the sun comes up over the airport. My family's gone--Susie and Grace got up when we left at 3:45 am and came to say goodbye with my parents. We're through security now. So far, Laurent's had to throw out a mini-knife that belonged to Dionne's grandma, Dionne got searched because of the decorating nails in her wallet, and I've paid way too much for some yogurt-covered almonds. Sitting by Destiny on the plane. That will be fun. [Editorial comment: love you, Destiny :D]

6:50 am
We took off 20 minutes ago.

I didn't sleep much last night. My grand plans to alter my sleep pattern the week before we left fizzled and died. Dad suggested we watch 24, so we did, and then I said goodbye to Jamie and then I went to bed.

[switch to pencil] My pen just died. My little green pen. :( Guess I'll have to steal one from the hotel.

Anyway, I rolled around a bunch and got up once to put plastic bags for laundry in my suitcase. I must have slept, because I woke up when my alarm went.

Came with parents and girls to the airport. I saw the gang as soon as I walked in, and Bryan and Nathan arrived last (Nathan's fault). Before boarding we hit Tim Hortons and the bathrooms in our airport clusters. [the groups we made for making sure we had everyone in the airports.]

I'm in seat 28A and the clouds are obstructing any view of the Rockies we're crossing. I did get some cool shots of the early morning sun out the plane window.

So far, I am cautiously optimistic. Haven't forgotten/misplaced anything. Am getting along well. I started watching How to Train Your Dragon in the seatback TV but I think I'll read my book now.

Nearly 9 am (PST now)
Dude, is it seriously not even 9 am? It feels like it should be at least noon.

Just came through a whirlwind stopover in Vancouver, characterized by a lot of following the US flag symbol. We cleared customs fine and made it to the departure gate as they were boarding, in plenty of time.

Now there is bright sun through the window and Destiny is sleeping beside me. I'm listening to XM classical radio. [Did some sudoku, too.] Also considering maybe some sleep myself, if possible. [Didn't work. I'm too tall to lean over and rest my head on the folding tray. Airplanes are awkward to sleep on.]

Sarah came to see us off, earlier. She gave me a nice long hug and I told her to please pray that I don't get too wrapped up in ME. [thanks, Sarah!] Dad also said that they wouldn't watch any 24 without me.

Just passed a gorgeous snow-crusted mountain poking above the clouds. Flying into Vancouver was nearly surreal because of the scenery. I got a wonderful picture of the islands in the fog. It's so awesome it's inspiring.

These mountains are incredible. All is indistinct blue and clouds, and then all of a sudden one of these monsters looms up. I wish I could better tell how big they are - a sense of scale is hard to have from an airplane window. Oh, it's Mt. St. Helens! They just announced over the intercom along with an update on the world cup.

Just after 9 now. Today might just last eternity.

3:20 pm
It feels like evening. We're in our Super 8 room after an interminable wait in the hot sun while Bryan and Nathan figured out reservation difficulties. Destiny is talking about how she hasn't slept in 48 hours. Michelle is unpacking EVERYTHING at once. I finally got my hair up and out of my face.

We ate lunch after waiting for some issues with the rental vans to be worked out [also played Guess the Movie Line while waiting], at Jack in the Box. [GROSS. GREASY. Not doing that again except for the American iced tea which I like.] Afterward we went to the grocery store briefly for some snacks for tomorrow. Pretzels, pretzel twists [Bryan really likes pretzels], fruit snacks, granola bars, water.

I think we're going out soon. I was pretty tired earlier but A/C and water splashed on my face feel better.

10:10 pm
I just saw the most epic set of fireworks I have witnessed in my entire life.

We were visiting a beach by a hotel on a whim and someone had heard from someone else that fireworks were going to be set off in the harbor. [The place was called Mission Bay.] We hung around until after it got dark, but nothing happened apart from a couple of errant firecrackers and I was fairly certain nothing was going to happen.

And then it DID. In a BIG WAY.

They lasted 22 minutes. 3 or 4 times we thought they'd ended and people applauded, but then there was an unbelieveable unmistakeable explosive ending. I have never seen so many so big all at once - and it's not even on July 4 yet! They were shaped like chandeliers, fireflies, planets, hearts, a happy face - I was mesmerized. It was awesome. I have a few pictures but they fail to capture it.

This afternoon we shopped in the tourist area of San Diego. I got a really pretty bracelet that looks similar to the Pandora ones, with blue beads, and even haggled the seller down to $20 from $24.

Also there was A. TON. of jewelry. SO MUCH. I could easily spend the entirety of my spending cash on jewelry. I almost bought a blue cross pendant, too. Did buy a mini tin of raspberry lemonade powder. Yum.

Some of the group lost interest in shopping [and walking]. I could have continued further, but we'd agreed to meet and go for dinner at 6.

We ate at a place called Fred's. Free chips + salsa + refills on American iced tea. I LOVE American iced tea. I ate about half of my actual meal. Nathan was daring people to walk up to a random stranger sitting in the restaurant, dip a chip in their salsa and say, "Eugh, this has cilantro." Loree did, but only to Jordan. I laughed a lot. Dinner was lovely. I really enjoy being with everyone.

Afterward we headed to the waterfront, and you know the rest.

Now I'm sitting in bed (sharing w/ Destiny) after jamming things into my suitcase in a slightly reconfigured manner to account for pulling out things for tomorrow morning. [This evening Michelle also killed four bugs in the bathroom. The Super 8 wasn't top-notch.] Waking at 7:30 because we need to make the hotel breakfast. We're meeting a group from Washington to convoy.

Tomorrow evening, the missions part of the trip begins. I hope the awesomeness doesn't stop.

(A quote from Bryan, at 8:45 pm while waiting for fireworks and watching the lame ones people across the harbor were setting off in their back yards: "Oh! I saw some Roman Candles. NOW we're partying.")

02 July 2010

Quick Review: The Last Airbender

This afternoon I went with (all) my siblings to see The Last Airbender.

I've never seen any of the TV show, though my younger siblings watch it, so I was going into the movie knowing nothing but what they told me. And OH BOY DID THEY DO A BUNCH OF TELLING. The movie starts with telling. Katara, who is a teenage girl from a Water elemental village, is all, "Blah blah blah my mother's dead my father's away my brother's not a very good hunter," cut to Sokka, who is indeed the caricature of a bad hunter. (Pause here to wonder why the movie couldn't have shown us this with a couple seconds of him failing to stab a small animal or something.)

Katara and Sokka find a random globe of ice that Katara manages to break, and it reveals an oversized beaver-like animal that can levitate (it reminded me of a Pokemon) and an unconscious boy. With tattoos. Cut to Katara and Sokka back at the village, evil people show up and demand to have the boy, the boy goes.

Strike #2: Katara goes, "He's our responsibility we have to save him!" Okay, you spoke about three words to this boy, he went of his own free will, and if your brother is actually as bad a hunter as you say he is, you have other things to be worried about. But nope, off they go on the levitating beaver to save the boy, Aang.

This was about the first fifteen minutes. It didn't get much better.

My biggest complaint was the clunky dialogue. Some of these characters might actually have, I dunno, some individuality, but it was all eclipsed by the awkward script. Best (worst) line: "It's time to show the Fire Nation that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs." No, really?

The characterization--and this might be the fault of the script--was also not up to par. Aang, the Avatar, came across as a completely humorless, weirdly mature 12-year-old boy. He never cracked a smile once. Sokka was overdone, always saying things like, "Get behind me!" and never succeeding at really doing much. Katara had a teeny bit of character growth, but her devotion to Aang was still bizarre and contrived. The rest of the characters were almost completely flat and predictable.

Visually, The Last Airbender did score a few points. At a few junctures it was pretty obvious that they used a green screen, but the elemental effects were cool (even if the fantasy author in me was wondering how the element-benders manage to stay alive in a war when someone could just come up from behind and stab them while they were executing those fancy kung-fu moves) and the costumes were well done. I found the various ethnicities of the different nations intriguing, as well as the overall imagery used for each, like the cast-iron-looking ships of the Fire Nation. The levitating beaver, though, I dunno whose idea that was but it was odd.

Things that would improve the next movie (which I hear Shyamalan is working on now--PLEASE let him pay someone ELSE to write the script): 1) A few laughs. Honestly, hardly anyone cracks a smile and there were maybe two lines that were even meant to be wry or lighthearted. ("You never asked. Only your grandmother did." might have been better if it didn't come right at the end of a very contrived 'romance' scene.) 2) Some dialogue that flows naturally without being obviously meant to instruct the viewer. Also, no dramatic pauses, please, or limit them to one every few sentences, not every few words. And 3) No more voiceover narration! Lose the voiceover narration! I will mail you cookies!

If I were giving it stars out of five, The Last Airbender would get one. My younger siblings seemed to enjoy it, though, so perhaps familiarity with the TV show breeds appreciation.

I did have fun mimicking Potter Puppet Pals outside afterward, however. (I was Hermione.)

01 July 2010

Counting

On April 1st, 2010, I wrote numbers of days on my calendar to help me get through the next three months. March had just ended and I remember feeling like I was on the home stretch...just the very, very beginning of the home stretch.

And now it's July 1st.

This year so far, I've done a lot of wishing time would pass. If I'm on a seven-hour shift at work it's how long until lunch, how long until coffee break, how long until I can go home. During the week it's how long until the weekend. I'm shocked that it's July 1st and I'm leaving for Mexico in two days, and that it's actually the summer. I never thought it would get here, when I was mired the depths of February.

There are still numbers written on my calendar. I'm counting the number of weeks left that I work, and the number of days until my Texan comes to see me, and I'm tempted to start counting the days until my residence move-in, which is September 5.

But I also feel a little like I need to stop counting. Maybe I need to stop looking at the clock or the calendar at all. Because things are happening now, every day, that I don't want to miss. (Sentimentality aside, however, how exactly does one 'savor a moment'? I've tried. Usually it amounts to a slightly panicky feeling of "oh no, it's leaving!") I clue in now, when I wake up in the morning not looking forward to something, that it's going to be over really fast, and every night when I go to bed I marvel at how short a time it was since I was last getting ready for bed.

The home stretch is going to end. I'm going to Mexico. I'm coming back and working for four weeks, spending a week with my Texan, spending three weeks getting ready for Ambrose, and then it'll be here. HERE. And I'LL be THERE.

I always thought that story about the boy with the ball of golden string who could pull on it a little and make time pass faster was, of fairy stories, significantly more obnoxious than the others. But it is inescapably true.

21 June 2010

Mexico, July 3-11 2010

The first missions trip I went on was in the summer of 2007. Sixteen of us, about half youth and half adults, went to Costa Rica and stayed at the Capernwray Bible school in San Jose. We drywalled a tiny church (the size of my bedroom) and painted one large room of a women's shelter green. I was fifteen, about to turn sixteen, and as far as I can remember my primary motivation for going on the trip was that it sounded fun and my friends were going. I bought a camera, got a passport, swam in the Pacific while it rained, and went on a plane for the first time. I also experienced some interpersonal difficulties that I don't recall dealing with very well, and generally didn't do much except what was expected of me. However, as a first missions trip experience, I'm glad I was there.

The second missions trip I went on, in August 2008, was spent half in Quebec City, QC, and half in a tiny town (also in Quebec) right near the US border, called Noyan. During the first six days, while we helped with the initiative Quebec Espoir (Hope for Quebec) in Quebec City, I felt quite insecure and isolated; most of the people we interacted with were speaking French, and the extent of the outreach I could manage was to hold out a Gospel of John to people on the street and say, "Un cadeau?" ("A gift?"). Our days of outreach were fairly uncertain and spur-of-the-moment affairs, a setup that, as an anxious Type A personality, I didn't respond to well. During these six days, it poured rain and I soaked my shoes, I saw a master Jack Sparrow impersonator, I developed a faux French accent, and I turned 17.

During the second six days, the trip improved for me. Despite being horribly homesick and nursing a fairly bad attitude left over from the first six days, I enjoyed the time we spent nailing siding to Noyan's new church. I also went water-skiing (or tried) for the first time, received a can of real Quebec maple syrup, went to a hot air balloon fair, watched Sahara, and got a blister from using a hammer. Even reflecting back on the trip on the plane as we headed home, I felt like I'd been there mostly for myself and that had somewhat sabotaged the experience.

I'm leaving for Vicente Guerrero, Baja, Mexico in 12 days, to serve in an orphanage, and this is what I've been reflecting on. My initial motivation for signing up for this trip was a sense of, "Oh, I've got it now. I know it's not for fun and I'll be able to really step outside myself now that I know what NOT to do." I'm not sure this is true, and that I won't come home from Mexico with some new additions to the How Not to Serve Selflessly list, but I do feel that I have some perspective on the way short-term missions affects an individual and what the best way to deal with some of that is. But I'm intimidated.

I'm scared that I'll forget to pack something essential. (I forgot my passport in the printer for Costa Rica, and my dad had to drive back from the airport and get it for me before our flight took off.) I'm scared that I'll be completely unprepared for some unforeseen aspect of the trip. I'm scared that I'll lose perspective and fail at being the selfless, eager-to-serve person I want to be. I'm scared of feeling inadequate, stupid, shallow or ineffective.

Prayer for all of this would be amazing. I've been praying about it myself, but particularly from July 3-11, I'd really appreciate the support.

It's not that I'm not excited. I bought new books for the plane ride and am collecting a little stack of things to bring on my dresser, and I'm ecstatic about the group of people with whom I get to spend a week. (I'm not just saying that because some of them will probably read this.) But I know now that short-term missions isn't a vacation or a thrill ride.

It might not be pretty. But it'll be worth it.

23 May 2010

Driving

I'm hoping to have my driver's license by the beginning of August, so recently I've been getting behind the wheel a bit more. The difficulties that I've been having are almost all small things that I never would have anticipated - stopping, for instance. The first time I stopped I stomped the brake so hard it was whiplash-inducing. I have graduated to slowing for traffic lights with success, and am presently struggling with lane changes. (I'm CONVINCED that I'm missing something. I don't care if I've mirror-checked and shoulder-checked! Someone is going to run into me!) I guess this is a rite of passage into adulthood? Learning to tell between the gas and the brake?

At some point I'm also going to have to buckle down and actually get my taxes done, another delightful part of entering the age of majority. Last Sunday afternoon I forgot I was supposed to work and nobody was responsible for my schedule or my subsequent apology but me. It's a little uncomfortable to be accountable for these larger things; to keep track of my finances, to make sure I know where to be and when and how I'm getting there, to be the person I'm accountable to.

If I think about it too much, I get intimidated considering how much more independent I'll be next year. I'll have to balance a budget, get homework in on time, work and save, and make sure I do random things like go to the dentist. I'll have to make my own grocery list and pay for my own food - what I don't eat in the cafeteria, where I'll have to watch the balance on my student card. I'll have to make sure my credit card is paid off. It's startling how much I didn't realize I had to be aware of, to be independent. It makes me uncertain that I want to be, sometimes.

In essence, a lot of the time I find myself saying, "I guess I'm driving?" instead of, "I want to drive!"

09 May 2010

Constantine I

I got my first laptop around Christmas of 2007. It would not be an exaggeration to say I have it with me in almost every single picture. It (he, Fitzwilliam I) was a white iBook G4 that I received secondhand from my uncle, and the feeling of having a laptop for the first time was similar to what I imagine getting your first car must feel like. Since February of 2007 I'd been spending a lot of time instant messaging various online friends, and eventually got to the point where I was dissatisfied with having only an hour of time on the computer per day (our family rule at the time). I worked out a deal with my mom, and every night I'd do the supper dishes and make breakfast for the next morning, and often spend the rest of the evening on the computer. My internet acquaintances have, I'm sure, very clear memories of the times I had to beg and plead to use the computer and be forever negotiating with my siblings for fifteen more minutes and the like. It was a huge relief to finally be able to do my own thing where I wanted and when I wanted. To this day, NOBODY but me uses my computer. (Well, okay, with a very few exceptions.) It was almost literally my best friend.

I enjoyed Fitzwilliam I until April of 2008, when water got splashed on his keyboard and he spluttered and died over the course of a (very unpleasant) few days. I cried. A lot. My uncle tried valiantly to fix him, but water is to electronics as Kryptonite is to Superman, and Fitzwilliam I was relegated to the back of my closet, where he still resides. I spent a month reliving the begging-and-pleading-for-15-more-minutes days.

In May of 2008, my mom (fankoo mommy) bought me another laptop, also a secondhand iBook G4, who was christened Fitzwilliam II and kept far away from any spillable liquid. Perhaps due to how much more careful I was, Fitzwilliam II lasted all the way until April of 2010, a respectable two years for an already secondhand laptop. When his screen began dying with increasing frequency, it was agreed that money spent fixing him was not money spent well, and on May 7, 2010, Constantine (Connie for short, after Robin McKinley's vampire) arrived in the mail.
Connie has a webcam.


He is a white MacBook, widescreen, brand spanking new, and already sporting several stylish Fringe-themed desktops. I have reveled in his ability to play flawless video (by viewing, over and over, the preview for the Fringe finale) and played with the iPhoto face recognition technology, and watched the strange ways PhotoBooth can deform my pictures, and moved all my music into iTunes. Connie also comes with a 1-year warranty, which I may end up extending.

I am very happy. Long live Connie. (Vampires are immortal, you know.)

09 April 2010

Countdowns

On April 3rd, I realized that it was exactly 3 months until our missions team to Mexico (which I am on) leaves on July 3rd. Since then, I have been fervently wishing it were the end of June already: the beginning of my (fun!) summer, and almost the end of my working year. In the spirit of enjoying life how it is...but also looking forward to things coming:

22 days until I take the SAT on May 1st (and move one step closer to acceptance into university).

75 days until I leave for Mexico on July 3rd (returning home on the 11th).

122 days until I see potr/Jamie on August 9th!

126 days until my birthday on August 13th (it's a Friday again this year. It was a Friday the year I turned 13, too).

151 days until September 7th, the day I move into residence at Ambrose.

(And 6 days until the next episode of Fringe, White Tulip. Simple pleasures.)

26 March 2010

Excuses, excuses...

My blogging constancy lately has been about the same as my journaling constancy, which makes sense, since they come to the same thing--one more private and one less so.

I got a gorgeous journal for my birthday in August. It looks like a ship's log and is made of leather and thick, parchment-y paper, and it sat in my room for months unused because I couldn't make up my mind about what epic purpose suited this wonderful thing. Eventually I decided that I was being silly and started using it as a journal, which I solemnly promised myself I would not neglect.

Ha ha.

What you have to understand about this (and what is part of my feeble defence) is that I am supremely bad at journaling. I'd like to think I'm good at it, since yeesh, if I can't write about my own life, what CAN I write about? But my entries tend to descend into tedium like, "Today I woke up and did not want to get out of bed. But I did. Then I went to work. Zia told me she hated Piglet. My feet have been hurting after work lately. Anyway, it was a long day and" then I'm distracted by something else. I did manage to be semi-consistent for about a month, and then I can cite to you a host of excuses about ceasing to be consistent, but the point is, I've been horrible at any degree of regularity since about October. I meant to memorize quizzing verses. I meant to play the piano every day. I meant to learn some degree of Spanish for the missions trip in July.

I meant to...wait for it...blog! Consistently!

The reality is that until I'm done working shifts at two jobs, shifts that are different every week, and juggling that with church involvement and studying for the SAT in May (which I should be doing as I am typing this) and getting the last bits of my university application ready to go (if you're curious, that's going well and I have residence acceptance. Also the director of the English Lit program emailed me and we used Elvish. I feel at home already) I won't be regular or consistent at anything except that necessary stuff.

It's not too much longer; we're almost into April (oops. Header.) and come next year I'm pretty sure I'll HAVE to blog or I'll be bombarded with questions about how university is going.

All that to say, please forgive me. I'll be here. If you're really curious about how I'm doing, fire me off an email or message me on facebook. But I can promise nothing, blog-wise, of a terribly excellent degree of regularity.

11 February 2010

Tolerance in Action

A couple days ago a blog I follow, FringeTelevision, posted some photos of Anna Torv (who plays Olivia Dunham in Fringe) from Esquire's "Women We Love" feature that FringeTelevision described as 'racy' and my mom described as 'salacious'. (I had to look it up too. My mommy is smart.) There were mixed comments on the post, some disappointed that Anna had allowed herself to be portrayed that way, some supportive. I was the eighth commenter, and I said:
It seems ridiculously incongruous to see these in conjuction with the Olivia we know from Fringe.

It's not that I'm surprised, or that I'm really disappointed in Anna Torv, but I object to the way she's sexualized like this. Is this really the only thing we look for in 'women we love'? What about intelligence or confidence or humor? Are near-nude photos the only thing that will make us sit up and pay attention? I think not.
Given what a few of the previous commenters had said, I surmised that I was not without support in my opinion. Another reader said she'd been "endorsing [Anna Torv/Olivia Dunham] as a role model to my teenage girls. Now she is just another Hollywood nobody who hasn't the good sense to retain part of herself, for her and her husband."

However, immediately after my comment, two others added their opinions:
I'd love to see the reaction you conservative nutjobs would have had if you saw Anna on "Mistresses" where she shared a steamy kiss with... a woman! (gasp!) Wake up, people. It's 2010; teenagers on myspace post more suggestive photos than the ones of Anna in Esquire. Just because she portrays a buttoned-down FBI agent, doesn't mean she is one. These pictures are tastefully done, playful, and show Anna for the stunning beauty she truly is. I will appreciate the photos for all you uptight people that can't.
and
You people live in a highly disturbed state of mind.Anna is an actress not some doll that you can dress up and pretend to be something you like.And when someone touches your doll, you start to feel very offended about it.Stop filming your life, yes the show is great, but Anna is a living person and she can do whatever she wants without asking some old fashioned idiots like you for approval.
Fun stuff. Now I'm a 'conservative nutjob', I'm 'uptight', I 'live in a highly disturbed state of mind', and I'm an 'old fashioned idiot'. Surmising that from their opinions, these individuals supported the popular definition of 'freedom of expression', I came to the not unreasonable conclusion that they probably also bought into another popular 'value'...
Boy. Apologies for expressing my opinion. Thanks for your thoughtful tolerance of my views! :D
Emphasis added.

Yay tolerance?

UPDATE: I've now also been accused of ignorance regarding what goes on in magazines. Aren't they just so polite?

20 January 2010

Know what I just realized?

I totally forgot to change to the winter header.

Also, it was yesterday that the Fringe episode was Johari Window, right? So why is What Lies Below showing TOMORROW if Fringe is on every Thursday?

Also, it has almost been a month since Christmas.

Also, in less than a month I will be 18 AND A HALF.

Who was the genius who came up with this PASSAGE OF TIME thing?

19 January 2010

As of January 19...

(Have to get this in before it's actually January 20.)

Have read (3): Mad Ship by Robin Hobb, Monster by Frank Peretti, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

Am reading (2): When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy, Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman.

Have on hold at the library and intend to read (1): Ship of Destiny by Robin Hobb.

Monster: Perhaps my expectations for this book were too high. I read all Peretti's kids' books when I was littler and managed to get thoroughly creeped out by almost every single one. Monster, however, took quite some time to enter a plot that actually seemed multifaceted and moving, and the only time it was gripping enough to have me unwilling to put it down was for about the last chapter. I also had trouble visualizing the characters, many of whom had rather bland names and personalities. The evolution/creation angle was satisfying, however, and clearly Peretti did his research.

Verdict: Entertaining but not memorable in an imprinted-on-my-brain kind of way. I still have vivid mental images from his kids' books. Kept me reading for a couple days.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: I find it greatly satisfying to finally know the origin of, "So long and thanks for all the fish." Hitchhiker's Guide kept me reading with some giggle-out-loud dialogue and the most bizarre plot twists I have ever seen. (See: depressed robot convincing spaceship to commit suicide.) I have yet to decide if it had any deeper life meaning or if it merely resembled something along the lines of Monty Python - highly quotable and clever but mostly for entertainment purposes. I do not yet know if I will read the sequel(s?).

Verdict: Was finished in less than 24 hours; that only happens when I like it. Made me want to see the movie and possibly read more.

14 January 2010

January 14 resolution

As opposed to, you know, New Year's.

I resolve to actually keep track of the books I read. I used to have a list specifically for the purpose, in my school binder, but that was when I went through books like candy and found it chiefly more of a nuisance than anything to have to write them down when I was finished with them.

So, in the spirit of this:

Have read (1): Mad Ship by Robin Hobb

Am reading (1): Monster by Frank Peretti

Have out from the library and intend to read (2): The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, and When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy. (I anticipate the last to be along the lines of I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris, so if it's fairly repetitive I may not finish it.)

Also, I'm in the middle of watching Firefly (sci-fi TV show canceled after 11 aired episodes) and I have recently acquired from the library discard pile a book of art from The Fellowship of the Ring (movie), The Hobbit graphic novel, and an old collection of Beethoven piano solos. We'll see if I actually get around to learning any.

07 January 2010

Highlights of Denver

Staying up late enough for Joy to get incoherent and start talking about how raisins aren’t actually dried grapes, and if we keep calling them that, we won’t know a real grape when we see one.

Learning that it’s impolite to ask someone their profession in Toledo.

Alternating episodes of Fringe, episodes of Firefly, and episodes of exclaiming over the oddities of J. J. Abrams.

Hearing about Joy’s trip to the front desk to get butter and her subsequent adventure through a black-tie party.

Discussing Phantom Grey spoilers with Jamie on MSN while sitting next to her.

Staying up so late that after the lights went out, I was asleep before I had time to roll over.

Burning grilled cheese sandwiches.

Skype and webcam with The Caribou.

Waking up to Joy with sharpie tattoos all over her left arm and a hairdo like Helena Bonham Carter.

Eating…something…that Jamie made out of leftover cranberry cereal, popcorn, milk and brown sugar.

Finishing two bags of Hint of Lime Tostitos.

All sitting in the same room, on the same bed, on our laptops.

Baking cookies with mint M&Ms and chocolate covered cacao pieces.

Being made fun of for saying ‘bag’ and ‘sorry’ weird, and unconsciously using the occasional ‘eh’.

Singing along to the Sherlock Holmes soundtrack, He’s a Pirate, and Skillet’s Believe.

Indecisiveness. But they love me anyway.

Being referred to as Merrin, Melda, and Amy in the same day.

Alternating between ‘p-tor’, ‘potter’, and ‘Jamie; and ‘FM’ and ‘Joy’.

Eating healthy. I’m muffling my laughter.

“Why didn’t you tell me I was wearing my shirt inside out?!”

“We could have made it!”

A Starbucks on EVERY. CORNER.

Giving Sir Marshmallow a moustache.

Finding that the housekeeping staff had made our bed and sat Sir Marshmallow up against the pillows.

Two grocery shopping trips and our sophisticated check-out system.

Laughing so hard I squeak, while trying to conceal from Joy that she’s being videoed.

Drinking coffee with a heart drawn in the foam on the top.

Writing both my names in the snow.

“Joy: A song for every phrase.”

Watching Trace be turned into Hitler wearing sunglasses.

Pwning and being pwned at many virtual games of Scrabble.

Eating dessert for breakfast.

Being tacklehugged.

Having friends who make it so hard to say goodbye.