Quick Review: The Last Airbender

This afternoon I went with (all) my siblings to see The Last Airbender.

I've never seen any of the TV show, though my younger siblings watch it, so I was going into the movie knowing nothing but what they told me. And OH BOY DID THEY DO A BUNCH OF TELLING. The movie starts with telling. Katara, who is a teenage girl from a Water elemental village, is all, "Blah blah blah my mother's dead my father's away my brother's not a very good hunter," cut to Sokka, who is indeed the caricature of a bad hunter. (Pause here to wonder why the movie couldn't have shown us this with a couple seconds of him failing to stab a small animal or something.)

Katara and Sokka find a random globe of ice that Katara manages to break, and it reveals an oversized beaver-like animal that can levitate (it reminded me of a Pokemon) and an unconscious boy. With tattoos. Cut to Katara and Sokka back at the village, evil people show up and demand to have the boy, the boy goes.

Strike #2: Katara goes, "He's our responsibility we have to save him!" Okay, you spoke about three words to this boy, he went of his own free will, and if your brother is actually as bad a hunter as you say he is, you have other things to be worried about. But nope, off they go on the levitating beaver to save the boy, Aang.

This was about the first fifteen minutes. It didn't get much better.

My biggest complaint was the clunky dialogue. Some of these characters might actually have, I dunno, some individuality, but it was all eclipsed by the awkward script. Best (worst) line: "It's time to show the Fire Nation that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs." No, really?

The characterization--and this might be the fault of the script--was also not up to par. Aang, the Avatar, came across as a completely humorless, weirdly mature 12-year-old boy. He never cracked a smile once. Sokka was overdone, always saying things like, "Get behind me!" and never succeeding at really doing much. Katara had a teeny bit of character growth, but her devotion to Aang was still bizarre and contrived. The rest of the characters were almost completely flat and predictable.

Visually, The Last Airbender did score a few points. At a few junctures it was pretty obvious that they used a green screen, but the elemental effects were cool (even if the fantasy author in me was wondering how the element-benders manage to stay alive in a war when someone could just come up from behind and stab them while they were executing those fancy kung-fu moves) and the costumes were well done. I found the various ethnicities of the different nations intriguing, as well as the overall imagery used for each, like the cast-iron-looking ships of the Fire Nation. The levitating beaver, though, I dunno whose idea that was but it was odd.

Things that would improve the next movie (which I hear Shyamalan is working on now--PLEASE let him pay someone ELSE to write the script): 1) A few laughs. Honestly, hardly anyone cracks a smile and there were maybe two lines that were even meant to be wry or lighthearted. ("You never asked. Only your grandmother did." might have been better if it didn't come right at the end of a very contrived 'romance' scene.) 2) Some dialogue that flows naturally without being obviously meant to instruct the viewer. Also, no dramatic pauses, please, or limit them to one every few sentences, not every few words. And 3) No more voiceover narration! Lose the voiceover narration! I will mail you cookies!

If I were giving it stars out of five, The Last Airbender would get one. My younger siblings seemed to enjoy it, though, so perhaps familiarity with the TV show breeds appreciation.

I did have fun mimicking Potter Puppet Pals outside afterward, however. (I was Hermione.)