25 December 2008

Happy and sad

Tonight we went to the Carols by Candlelight service at church.

It's a strange thing, the Christmas Eve service. While many people you know are there, those who live in the surrounding neighborhoods and seldom attend church except for Christmas and Easter come as well, and it feels bigger and a little more alien. But not in a bad way.

Everyone received their little white candle, and we all proceeded to hold them throughout the service - short and sweet, with carols and songs and a little message from the pastor. My little sister got impatient at one point and motioned for me to lean down so she could whisper in my ear, "When do we get to light the candles?"

The fire hazard jokes abound, so we didn't until the very end.

I've always loved Christmas. I don't know if it was the same when I was little, but for me the stuff is a little peripheral. I love the decorations. I love the anticipation. I love eggnog and gingerbread. And I love knowing, just for a little while, that Christmas spirit means something to people. To paraphrase what my dad said recently, it's an achievement that Jesus, over two thousand years later, continues to have a holiday in his name that stands for peace on earth and goodwill toward men. Christmas makes me happy; I bounce when I hear songs on the radio and play them on the piano and sing them while I wash the dishes, and I wear Santa hats, and I anticipate like a little kid.

But when we lit the candles at the end of that service, all of them from the white candle in the middle of the Advent wreath - the one called the Messiah candle - it was bittersweet, somehow, to watch the lights go off and watch the candle flames multiply. Then our pastor talked about how God could have done this in a much more magnificent way. He could have proclaimed to the whole world, beyond doubt, that his Son had come to save us. But he wants us to do it. He wants us to tell the news and pass along our candle flames, one soul at a time. They're so fragile. But one candle goes to another goes to another, and before long everyone's is lit.

It's late and my thoughts are fragmented, but this does tie in, I promise.

Luke 16:19-35

"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'

"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "


What I take from this story - and I don't know whether it's a story or a parable, but the meaning remains - is this: If we can look from Heaven to Hell, or Paradise to Hades, across the chasm, that means that every soul I knew whose candle flame was never lit will be there, on that other side.

I can't think of it without tearing up. I'm sitting here, typing this, trying not to cry. I'm thinking of standing there, in heaven, knowing that there is an uncrossable chasm between me and the people I knew and loved, and that there is no hope for them. Not any more.

Those are my thoughts tonight. Joy and sorrow. I'm so indescribably full of life and love and I'm so blessed and I could jump up and down and scream, but even with the joy comes knowledge that maybe some of those flames won't be lit.

Maybe you're reading this and you think I'm stupid and religious and I'm upset over nothing.

I pray that one day I'm not looking across at you. I pray that you'll be standing beside me.

Love life. Love life eternal.

Merry Christmas.

23 December 2008

Looky up!

It is the season for a new header! A day late, as it happens; I meant to have one for the official first day of winter, but we'll pretend that's when it was. I'm exceedingly pleased with my color- and theme-matching skills. I harbor no illusions that I'm a brilliant graphic-maker, but it's kinda pretty.

In other news:

I love my job. It's fun, and the people are warm and welcoming, and I finally feel like I know what I'm doing when I walk in. I can't believe I get paid to do this. Books are amazing.

Christmas is coming too early. But - but - it can't be the 23rd already! I want to spend another week or so getting in the mood! I like all the decorations! I'm enjoying the anticipation (anticipation is the best part of any event) and I don't want to know what my presents are quite yet. Peace on earth and goodwill toward men sounds good to me all year round, actually.

Now there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid! I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people."

19 December 2008

Merry Christmas

Nope, not Happy Holidays. Not Season's Greetings. Not Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, or Winter Lights. My mom recently commented that I should rename my blog 'Rants' so maybe I'll try to be slightly less rabid about this particular pet peeve (because being rabid generally doesn't get you many places in life.)

However.

I am of the opinion that, in the recent trend toward quavering political correctness, those who maintain that our Christmas festivities are merely a winter holiday should insist that they not have time off school or work, buy presents for no one, and decline to receive any. After all, we don't give presents at the summer solstice, do we?

I have also noticed a trend in people who hold such opinions. They do not belong to visible minorities (you know, the ones they claim are offended by nativity scenes and Christmas trees.) They do, however, belong to a left-wing, politically correct sphere of influence, and are themselves a minority. I dare to postulate that ordinary people, stopped on the streets or wherever, probably have no more problem with a baby in a manger than I do; but they are assigned a phantom grievance by those who do have a problem.

And like all tiptoing that goes on around visible minorities, this is dumb. Majorities should be more important than minorities, particularly in a democratic country where majority rules. If you don't want to celebrate Christmas, fine. Stay home. Don't drink eggnog, don't have a tree, politely or not-so-politely refuse gifts, and spit on candy canes. Mutter a 'bah humbug' now and then. If you must, tell me you don't celebrate Christmas when I tell you to have a merry one, and then revel in the awkward silence that follows.

By all rights, your personal preferences should not mean that the sight of a baby in a manger is taboo, or that the word 'Christmas' may not be uttered and must instead be replaced with the mundane 'holiday season' or 'winter celebration'. I might detest purple but that doesn't mean I throw a fit and insist that nobody anywhere must ever wear it again.

Okay. Rant over.

Merry Christmas :)

13 December 2008

The wish list

I actually think a wish list is a selfish concept. That's why I'm so reluctant to have one. I mean, think about it, Christmas is a time of year during which, ideally, we realize the value of giving vs receiving, and how spending time with the people you love is more important than the stuff you get.

That's not to say I don't enjoy the stuff. But a lot of the enjoyment I get out of the stuff is knowing that someone bought it especially for me, thinking of me. For example: Last Christmas my sister bought me a little mirror for my bathroom. It wasn't big or anything, or flashy, but I really appreciated it, because she'd noticed I didn't have one. This is the same reason I dislike giftcards - if you don't know someone well, they're acceptable, but buying a giftcard for a close friend seems to me like saying you weren't willing to put in the effort.

I don't think Christmas should be a way of getting what you want. I see no (hackneyed phrase!) 'Christmas spirit' in just asking for all the things you'd like to have and then getting them. That's not what it's about. I enjoy the things I get, but they should not be the be-all and end-all of Christmas. It's bigger than that.

...and also, if anyone wanted a wish list, you're on your own. If you're stuck, I like chocolate.


"When life breaks your yolks - make scrambled eggs instead!"

12 December 2008

I have a job?

Verily, I have a job.

The kind that makes money and gives hours. That kind. It's sorta weird. And I'm basically thrilled.

The job description is as follows: Student Page at our neighborhood branch of the Public Library. 10 hours per week (20 during school holidays), $9.66 per hour. Student pages shelve books, shelf-read books, and clean up at closing time, as well as miscellaneous other tasks. I have applied four times in the last nine months, every time the job became available, and last Thursday was the first time they called for an interview. Interview was on Tuesday and went very well, and Wednesday afternoon they called to offer me the job.

Needless to say, I accepted :P

So I start Monday morning, with three hours of training. Wish me luck!

02 December 2008

Shenanigans in satire

Thank you Josh.

Thank you Ezra Levant.

I could sit here and rant for a long, long time.

Be advised that it is very, very dangerous to get me started. Be advised that it is 9:11 am and I have already emailed Stephane Dion and Jack Layton at their government addresses to tell them that I am seventeen years old and I can see their blatant, power-hungry hypocrisy.

"Accept defeat gracefully," said Mr Layton to the Prime Minister.

Eat your words. Or even better, stick your arrogant head - and I won't finish that sentence.

Tell 'em yourself.

Duceppe.G@parl.gc.ca
Dion.S@parl.gc.ca
Layton.J@parl.gc.ca

01 December 2008

Cheer for the letter-writers. Cheer, cheer, cheer.

I take back what I said about ceasing to read letters to the editor. I have never come across a more outstanding ensemble of common sense than the seven in the National Post today, regarding the recent ridiculous shenanigans in government. (To understand what I'm talking about, click here first and here next. If Lorne Gunter had fangirls...) Despite the ridiculous bias of our media, despite the drivel that passes for good sense, and despite the childish wailing of the Liberals, NDP and Bloc Quebecois, at least SOME Canadians are smart enough to see through this. Today's paper included these gems of wisdom:

"Why in these tough economic times, are [the Liberals, NDP, and Bloc] not willing to lead by cutting the drain on Canadian taxpayers? The Conservatives are willing to cut spending in an area that will directly affect them. If I want to support a political party, I would rather have the right to choose which one and how much of my hard earned money I give." (Tom Stang, Edmonton)

"The Conservatives have no apologies to make for their proposal to eliminate public funding of political parties. The issue is simple: If Canadians want to support a political party, let them do so with their own money. It is immoral to compel Canadians to fund political parties that they would not support voluntarily. It is equally immoral for political parties that can't manage their own finances to expect to manage the finances of the nation." (Liam Rafferty, Toronto)

And from me:

The motivations behind this coalition of the opposition parties and their screams of protest at the move to cut their funding are simple: Selfishness and laziness.

They failed to obtain power in the election. The Liberals, the Official Opposition, had the worst show of support in over a century. They've been smacked down and left to whine about how Harper isn't doing what's best for the economy - and the moment he introduces a bill to cut taxes (e.g. support the economy) they are more concerned with the fact that it is their funding he is taking away than they are for the welfare of Canadians. If they want the funding, they need to get out there and RAISE it. The Opposition parties lack power and lack funds, and they are selfish and lazy enough to make a grab for the one, and to expect Canadian taxpayers to make up for the other. This is in no way a failure on the part of the Prime Minister.

Hoo boy, I think this is turning into one of those issues on which it is dangerous to get me started.