Driving

I'm hoping to have my driver's license by the beginning of August, so recently I've been getting behind the wheel a bit more. The difficulties that I've been having are almost all small things that I never would have anticipated - stopping, for instance. The first time I stopped I stomped the brake so hard it was whiplash-inducing. I have graduated to slowing for traffic lights with success, and am presently struggling with lane changes. (I'm CONVINCED that I'm missing something. I don't care if I've mirror-checked and shoulder-checked! Someone is going to run into me!) I guess this is a rite of passage into adulthood? Learning to tell between the gas and the brake?

At some point I'm also going to have to buckle down and actually get my taxes done, another delightful part of entering the age of majority. Last Sunday afternoon I forgot I was supposed to work and nobody was responsible for my schedule or my subsequent apology but me. It's a little uncomfortable to be accountable for these larger things; to keep track of my finances, to make sure I know where to be and when and how I'm getting there, to be the person I'm accountable to.

If I think about it too much, I get intimidated considering how much more independent I'll be next year. I'll have to balance a budget, get homework in on time, work and save, and make sure I do random things like go to the dentist. I'll have to make my own grocery list and pay for my own food - what I don't eat in the cafeteria, where I'll have to watch the balance on my student card. I'll have to make sure my credit card is paid off. It's startling how much I didn't realize I had to be aware of, to be independent. It makes me uncertain that I want to be, sometimes.

In essence, a lot of the time I find myself saying, "I guess I'm driving?" instead of, "I want to drive!"